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Who Are You?

I don't know. Everything is still hard. Nothing is showing up to save me. Growing frustration and disgust. Blah blah.

Life goes on around me, and I am all-consumed by the fight to live one myself. I am missing everything, in hopes to one day experience something. There is nothing to indicate I will make it. In fact, most signs currently point to imminent doom.

I hate that the only people who know my value can't do anything about it. I hate that the people who should know my value, don't (*cough* SP).

And I'm not even that valuable yet. I still have so far to go. I need experience, and knowledge, and a clear head and sound body - I need to be so much better than I am. But I'm not improving, am I?

I work harder than anybody else, but I am not succeeding, and I am not indispensable. There is nothing uniquely impressive about me. I don't even write anymore. I spend all my time struggling, and supporting other people's work. I don't create. I am not at peace. I am failing.

I am losing myself in this mess. It must stop.

So, how? Come one, Self. Fix this.

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